Join the UBC Learning Circle for another exciting session with Denise Findlay on February 14, 2017. In the spirit of Family Day (recognized on February 13, 2017 in British Columbia), this session is for adults responsible for children to explore how together, we are Raising the Next Generation.
Denise is an authorized Neufeld Facilitator and Parent Consultant dedicated to supporting adults to make sense of children. Denise works extensively with First Nations in British Columbia and other parts of Canada and is a wife and mother to two highly sensitive, intense and bright boys. Denise’s passion for the Neufeld approach was ignited when she sought support as a parent and experienced Dr. Neufeld’s teachings to be in complete alignment with her deepest intuitions about parenting. Denise has been able to share her insights with parents in the First Nations community to empower them to be their child’s best bet and to look to traditional approaches to parenting that focus on attachment and life long, whole person development. Denise works with all adults wanting to make sense of children and youth using Dr. Neufeld’s insight and evidence based model of attachment and development to tease apart complex issues. Denise has experience training Educators, Parents and Parent Groups, Social Workers, Early Childhood Educators, Mental Health Practitioners and other Helping Professionals.
Kweykway is a grassroots organization that is Indigenous owned and operated by Denise Findlay. Findlay specializes in education, consulting and professional coaching. She has worked with over 120 Indigenous communities and organizations throughout Canada using customized services and programs that effectively address existing needs and challenges facing indigenous peoples. Findlay has an extensive experience working with leaders, communities, parents, social workers, administrators, health centres, and educators.
- We will deconstruct the dominant behavioural, diagnostic and learning theory paradigms that influence how we are raising our children today.
- We will discuss a traditional/developmental perspective based on attachment and life-long, whole person development.
- There will be a question and answer period where adults can bring forward questions about children they are parenting and / or are responsible for.
This session is for all adults responsible for children…personally or professionally
Everyone is welcome to participate:
About the Presenter:
Denise Findlay, M.Ed., CPCC, ACC, is an Educator, Facilitator, Consultant, and Owner of Kweykway Consulting.
Denise is a bi-cultural woman and a seasoned and dynamic professional with a passion for supporting people to fulfill their potential. Denise has worked in over 120 First Nations communities and organizations throughout Canada, including her own community The Squamish Nation. Although most well known for her pioneering work in the area of Lateral Violence, Denise’s focus is on facilitating personal and community empowerment, development and wellness. Denise specializes in Contemplative Education, Developmental Attachment Theory, Process Psychology, and Empowerment Training all through a Trauma Informed lens. Denise represents a parent voice on two Vancouver Coastal Health advisory committees intended to increase family involvement in responding to child and youth mental health.
Denise believes strongly that reconciliation and healing begins with and must include a reconciliation within one’s self and one’s lived experience, and one’s family. From our centre good energy ripples out to our communities and the world we share.
Denise holds Masters Degree in Education from Simon Fraser University focusing on Contemplative Inquiry and Approaches in Education (https://denisefindlay.wordpress.com) and is a Facilitator and Course Assistant for the Neufeld Institute. Denise holds a BC Provincial Instructors Diploma from VCC and is a Certified Professional Coach with advanced training in systems coaching. Denise has spent over 6 years studying Process Psychology with Dr. Stephen Schuiteveorder (www.processconsulting.org) as her mentor. Most importantly, Denise is a truth seeker dedicated to meditation and visualization following and sharing the teachings of Mr. Tulshi Sen, International Speaker, Teacher and Author of Ancient Secrets of Success.
Denise was born and raised in North Vancouver to a mother of European decent, and a father of Coast Salish heritage. She currently resides in West Vancouver on the Capilano reserve with her husband Jay, her sons Jake and Max, and their dog Harley and cats Marshmellow and Buster. They enjoy a gentle pace together as a family where Denise is able to engage in her passions of daily writing, reading, movement and meditation.
Denise has extensive experience working with….
- Adults responsible for children…providing Coaching, Consulting, Presentations and Training Courses to parents, educators, childcare providers and other helping professionals.
- Indigenous Groups and Organizations including First Nations Health, Child and Family Services, Leadership, and Community providing…Facilitation, Lateral Violence Training, and Program Development.
- Corporate Leaders and Teams…providing Team Building, Personal Development and Empowerment Training, Professional Coaching, and Cultural Competency Workshops
- Educators…providing Professional Development Training, Contemplative Education Workshops, and Sessions on Indigenous Ways of Knowing.
Watch Denise’s previous UBC Learning Circle sessions:
- “Rooting Lateral Kindness In Community“
- “Lateral Kindness“
- “It Takes a Village“
- “Mindfulness: Tools for Restoring Balance“
- “The ABCs of Growing Up“
PDF of Denise’s PowerPoint Presentation
- Raising the Next Generation: Transforming the Legacy of Residential School
Denise’s answers to Questions that were asked during session:
- The first questions was about working with shame in children. “My reflection is this. If a child is attaching to us deeply and vulnerably our role is to help them make room for, express and feel the emotions. So the emotions moves us and can do the job of growing us up and developing resiliency. We can do this as adults by making room for our own emotion and modelling our relationship with this emotion. It’s only stuck emotions that can no longer move due to defended-ness that cause us trouble. If we can feel it then it can move and we can be transformed / healed. Help the child feel it, normalize it and model our own relationship to shame. We can only do this when a child is attached to us.”
- The second questions was around guilt regarding relationship to our grown children that leads to enabling. “The best way to understand this dynamic is to see it as a way of relating in order to our own needs met. If our needs were not being met as children we learned to take care of others in order to feel safe and or cared for. Again, the key here is to make room for the guilt. This is a natural emotion intended to move us to care for others, however, it’s when we cannot be with the guilt that we externalize our actions as a way of finding relief and/or avoiding the emotion. If we can set an intention to be with the feelings of guilt as they come up so that they can move we can be transformed this way. The avoidance of quilt keeps us stuck. Invite, be gentle with ones self especially in regards to our children and our role as parents and know that creating space for vulnerable emotions is gentle work that needs to be done in the context of relationships also. We need to feel safe and invited to feel these things and to allow ourselves to be moved. I tell all parents that guilt is most certainly a part of parenting and an emotion that we must invite and make friends with. It’s all okay!”
DISCLAIMER: Due to the sensitive subject matter and stories shared during the UBC Learning Circle sessions participants may become triggered. Please ensure you have prepared a support system for yourself in advance in which you may have easy access to. This could mean an Elder, trusted mentor/family/friend, Counsellor and/or crisis contact number.
Please contact the 24 Hour KUU-US Crisis Line at 1-800-588-8717 if you require emotional support. KUU-US services are for First Nations, by First Nations – all crisis response personnel are certified and trained in Indigenous cultural safety. Or call the BC Crises Centre at 1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433).